dada da da da dada da da da dada da da da dada da da da dada da da . . .
It fell from the end of the little red
stirring straw in droplets, the coffee, plunging into the void between Doctor
Bernadette’s thin lips. His sharp teeth protruded like those of desperate wolves,
in two lunging crescents from his mouth, and his white medical coat hung down
to his calves. With listlessness he licked his lips. He set down the mug and
turned to his patient, who sat, hands folded, on a bed across the room.
“Well, well, Mr. Tucker,” he said. “To me
it looks like you’re almost completely recovered. Ready for the outside world
again.” He smoothed back his hair and picked up the coffee mug again, taking a
sip. “Are you?”
A river of black trickled down the
doctor’s chin and mingled with his goatee. Just wipe it away already please,
Tucker thought. Oh thank God. The patient looked at the faux marble tiles
checkering the floor and clutched the mattress’ edge.
“Of course.”
“But that’s what they all say,” the doctor
laughed. He cracked his knuckles and continued, resuming his air of
professionalism. “In any case, you have less than two weeks. What do you plan
to do once you leave? It’s been a while, hasn’t it? You’re coming on . . .” He
mused over a clipboard on the counter. “Yes, coming on four years now.”
Don’t want me to leave, need the money for
their clinic. Too hard finding more rich people to leach on. A bright orange
envelope on his clipboard. From Karen, probably telling me to behave for the
next twelve days. She could just stop paying. That would get them to let me go.
“I’m going to stay with my sister and
mother until I can find work.”
“And once home, how soon do you intend to
start looking for a job?”
“Immediately. I’m tired of being a
parasite.”
Doctor Bernadette raised his eyes to him
and set down the clipboard. Frowning, he turned to pick up his coffee mug. No,
you damn idiot, don’t say that kind of thing. Sounds suspicious. Get the wrong
idea about me.
“Mr. Tucker,” he said. “We’ve talked about
this before, and frankly it worries me that you’d say such a thing. We both
came to the conclusion that you are by no means a ‘parasite.’ In fact, —shit!”
His hand fumbled the mug as he lifted it,
and scalding liquid spilled out onto his fleshy fingers. His hand pulled back
in pain, and the mug flew loose, crashing to the floor. Bits and curves of
opaque glass spilled out near Tucker’s bare feet, and a circle of dark brown
seeped out over the tiles.
“My mistake, my mistake! Mr. Tucker I
apologize . . .”
“It’s not a problem.”
“Not worth calling a nurse to clean it up,
my mess, after all. Just give me a minute and everything’ll be spic and span
again. Watch that glass there.”
Kneeling to the ground, he pulled his
medical coat up away from the floor and corralled some of the larger shards into
his palm. He took a hankerchief from his pocket and sponged at the coffee.
Above him, the clock read six past noon.
Another late lunch. Who will bring me it,
I wonder. Sara? Make it all worth the wait. With my luck, it won’t be her. More
likely that old bitch . . . Wish he’d hurry and leave. Want to read Karen’s
letter. Maybe she handwrote it. Lovely script. No one appreciates that sort of
thing anymore.
Doctor Bernadette walked to the shelf to
retrieve a small towel. Tucker glanced up at the sound of his footsteps and
blinked.
“Could I have my letter while you’re up?”
“Sure, just one second,” he replied, going
over to his clipboard. “Here you go.”
Already been opened, as always. Does Karen
remember that they screen the letters? Never writes them personal anyway.
Writes them consistently though. Better that way. To my dearest Jonathan, so
anxious to have you home, so anxious. Very sorry to have to tell you like this,
but Mom’s sick: cancer. O my God. You are a greater blessing than you could
ever know. O my God. You can bring light into her life when there seems to be
none left. Let her know her son as he truly is . . . Typed. Wanted it to appear
more clinical and detached. Should’ve spilled coffee on the damn thing.
Should’ve burned it when they screened it. Why would they let me see this?
Ready for the outside world, don’t you remember? That’s what you told them.
“Doctor Bernadette, it’s horrible asking
you this, but . . .”
“Anything, Mr. Tucker.”
“Can you let me be alone for a little
while? I need some time.”
The doctor scratched his ear and shrugged.
From the clock came the stentorian click of each second’s passing as he folded
his handkerchief and laid the damp towel over the mess, wiped his hands on his
dark khakis.
“Sure, no problem,” he said, rising to his
feet. “Later I’ll send a nurse to finish cleaning this mess. Do you want me to
tell her you’re skipping lunch? Sara should be getting here soon.”
“Sara? No, please. Lunch is okay.”
The doctor nodded and took his clipboard.
His white medical coat flowed behind him, caught on the air, as he exited back
into the loud, cacaphonous hall.
